As you may or may not know, Big Chubby’s was one of my favorite burger restaurants. In fact, I even helped along the new place when they took my advice on fixing the decor that was turning off some pedestrians, so I really liked the place that was there before The Burgernator showed up. Which meant I was like old Arnie was in the 80s: no mercy.
The theme, which revolved around eliminating enemies and conquering the city, as well as weapons and war, might just make Michael Moore take back what he said about Canadians being peaceful [if G20 didn't already, or with what the oil sands are doing to the environment, look, it's CallumpolitcizesToronto!], but I noticed something more subtle as well.
Mayor Rob Ford’s motto
The Burgernator is reminiscent of The Burger Priest: flat top cooking, some crazy-a$$ [as if dollar signs actually censor it] challenge burger with a triple patty and grilled cheese sandwich buns, and that sleek modern decor. It also had the other feeling, oh, what was it called? Oh yeah, OVER-HYPE.
theme decor – the darkness had my mother dragging the food to the window for pics
I would’ve gotten the Jamaican to compare with Big Chubby’s if it weren’t for the fact that I had a horrible memory of the time my grandmother thought Jamaican hot sauce was used as a spread for wraps [it wasn't too spicy, it just tasted terrible], so I got the Challenge.
I think the lady off camera was right when she said it was the size of my head. First off, a bit better than The Burger Priest’s because the burgers weren’t small sliders, and actually had a good width, that includes the Challenge and the regular sized stuff, but to actually divide the meat into patties is an insult to measuring, CLUMPS OF MEAT SHOVED INTO GREASY AT-LEAST-IT’S-NOT-WONDER-BREAD-BUNS: ISN’T A PATTY, UNLESS IT’S BEEN DIVIDED INTO SMALLER PIECES FOR PEOPLE WHO CAN’T CHEW RIGHT!!!!!!!!
[breathing]
“The Burgernator (Take The Challenge)” Triple patty between two grilled cheese sandwiches
As if that wasn’t enough, my toppings were drowning in the equivalent of three patties of meat that was bland, the only flavour was beef, there was no grilled taste, no spices in the mix, and it wasn’t halal, so it was just an average dead roasted cow. Moo. I tend to not like average fare in the burger world because, if you do actually travel more than a few blocks from your current location to get it, then average doesn’t compete with the big fellas like Big Smoke’s or Burger Stomper, gaaagh I can’t even put Big Chubby’s in that list anymore! So that means it wasn’t worth the public transportation fare that was sacrificed to get here, let alone the fact I almost got hit by who’s probably next year’s Canada’s Worst Driver if I hadn’t jumped back in time.
Mom’s “Atomic Burger” with deep-fried herb crusted cheese
The one good thing I can say is that their fries are actually homemade and paired with a tasty Aioli, but you can find that at The Works [maybe they'll be the new guys on that list].
The Burgernator basically wants to terminate all the alleged scum in Toronto’s burger world, which is as phony as George Bush’s election, as the cake from Portal, as Megan Fox’s face! If they do monopolize burgers, it’ll look a lot like the wasted world from the terminator with all its one-and-the-same-robots–boring.
The Burgernator is terrible, and if they do come from the future, then their technology should be stored in some secret government base, far, far away from anyone who can use it to conquer the world [maybe using fry-net] with lame-o burgers. I hope they won’t be back.
I think you understand how I feel about this place. That’s all I have to say.
Dukem [Doo-kum] is an Ethiopian restaurant in a section of Danforth Village that has seen a large group of Ethiopian residents and shops in recent years.
It is probably the perfect place to take friends or family to since it has a fancier atmosphere than a burger joint or some rich people snobfest with unpronounceable French dishes [I swear, I can pronounce Korean better than French] that are just there to show how much cash you can spend on useless junk. Which brings me to the fact that while not necessarily cheap, Dukem’s doesn’t charge nearly as much as they could.
The Ruins at Gondar, Ethiopia (source: Wikipedia)
The food clearly comes from a rich culture, and that is the definition of Ethiopia, it is one of the African countries that has built huge cities and empires thousands of years ago. And it comes in a huge, elegant smorgasbord of colours, ranging from lentils to moist, tender meats and salads. For those of you who don’t know where the silverware is, well, there is none.
Injera, instead of a knife and fork
Ethiopian food is eaten with injera [in-jeer-ra], a spongy bread, that is used to scoop up the food, that’s why I’ve developed the culturally inaccurate habit of eating butter chicken using the naan as injera, I wonder how crazy the Indian servers think North Americans are when they see that [probably the equivalent of Star Trek characters using public transportation].
Anyway, Dukem’s food is just plain splendid, one can not complain about it without the need for a CAT scan. The service is quite polite [haha I made a stupid rhyme] and the waiter has learned that our Canadian family can’t open the fancy water bottle, or that there’s a trick we can’t master, and the ambience is pleasant.
Clearly not rocket science, but we can never figure out how to open this
Also, it is clearly popular with the Ethiopians, as well as everyone else, so it is definitely actually Ethiopian food instead something Americanized [like pizza, hot dogs, dumplings, television, cars, computers, governments, ideas and thoughts, and the rest of the world]. Whenever my family goes there, we order a vegetable platter, with some meats with it: those are the Dukem Kitfo, and the Awazi Tibs.
Their Vegetarian Combo with our Awaze Tibs and Dukem Kitfo added to the platter
Note Un [practicing french]: the way we order, while delicious, will require food to be taken home or a large amount of people to finish, but it will get eaten quickly I can promise that.
Delicious Kitfo (which we always order medium) – as in rare, medium, well done
Note Deux: some peppers are mild bell peppers, while others are probably the equivalent of a scotch bonnet or jalapeno only the spice is like mustard for your tongue; TAKES A LONG TIME TO COME OFF WITH SEVERAL WASHES.
My mom’s absolute favorite – Yesimer Wot
Stay healthy while eating a lot! I think I need a quicker goodbye!
Where do you take a 6’4″ man-child, that lives to eat for his 14th birthday? Obviously an all you can eat buffet. Same rules we always have when we go to the Mandarin (which is rare)… Nothing breaded, deep-fried or covered in a sugary sauce eg. Orange Chicken. Other than that, there were no limits. In order of consumption…
Round One
Soup and salad. The Thai Chicken Salad was absolutely delicious.
Round Two
Kind of a yellow theme going here. The cauliflower was a bit of a tactical error as the heavy cheese sauce was quite filling.
Round Three
The meat themed plate with one lone potato.
Round Four
Note that Callum used a dinner plate for his selections instead of the smaller dessert plates provided.
Round Five
The fifth and final round. Just a little palatte cleanser
Blowing out his candles later at home
Happy Birthday Buddy.. we are all very proud of you!!
The big house. Only one phone call, bad food, everyone hates you, bars all around you, oh wait, that’s what happens when you commit a felony, not when you go out for pizza!
As a newly opened and popular pizza joint, the only arresting Big House Pizza will be doing is cardiac arrest, what with their giant pizzas filled with gourmet toppings.
Interior of Big House Pizza including their wall of celebrity mug shots
The seating was clean, and there was a really large wall of stars from The Good [Morgan Freeman, who was charged with drunk driving, but later discredited. And Kiefer Sutherland actually had a drinking problem which lead to an assault charge, but he sobered up] The Bad [Michael Jackson, no comment on whether or not he really did do anything bad, I'll get controversial in a moment] and The Ugly [O.J. Simpson, who ironically was turned down for the role of The Terminator for being too nice].
Lots of imaginative choices
The menu had classier-than-usual puns such as Rob ‘The Jerk’ Ford [for non-Torontonians who don't know who he is, he's a lazy, cheap to the point of causing car accidents, dirty, homophobic, loves McDonald's-so-much-he-literally-gave-the-key-to-the-city-to-the-owner-of-Mickey D's disgusting slob of a mayor, I don't care if his supporters hate me for saying that, people also supported George W. Bush and Adolf Hitler, so there.
image courtesy of cupwire.ca
Wow that was a long bracket. If you forgot I was naming some of the clever names on the menu] the Rocky Balboa [filled with meat and hot peppers] and the John A McDonald [basically a Big Mac on a pizza but with higher class meat and veggies].
Nana’s “Get Him to the Greek” without the peppers and onions
I had the Rocky Balboa [Sylvester Stallone wasn't on the wall of celebs because he was never arrested] Pizza, and my family picked the [forgot what you picked, sorry] and The Greek, which I didn’t try since there was no way I’d like it.
The Rocky Balboa Chili Philly Cheese Steak
The Balboa was amazing, the cream cheese sauce worked very well as a tomato sauce substitute, somehow, and the meat pieces were huge and very generous, not to mention just plain quality.
Quality ingredients, generous quantities
The basics, such as the cheese and taste of the crust, were equally as great, and not flavourless like that crap Pizza Pizza regurgitates. I tasted the [mom's - Editor's note: I had the Jimmy "Margheritaville" Buffet) and it worked as well, but it wasn't my favourite, I'd recommend it for people with smaller appetites, although it wouldn't really matter since you'll probably take something home anyway if everyone has their own pizza.
Jimmy “Margheritaville” Buffet – Editor’s note: Delish!!
I also tried their Brio soda, which is made supposed to be made from some kind of Italian fruit [learned it on Wikipedia], but is actually made just from water, and different types of sugars and chemicals, as well as carbon [but fortunately not Mentos]. They had a strong, sort of sweet/peppery taste, sort of like homemade root beer, that was overpowering by itself but worked brilliantly as a sweet counter to a salty/savoury meal.
Next time we’ll stick with Coke
Like other places I have been to, the staff knows about my blog, and I gave an honest critique. Like before, regardless if I liked them or not, I made sure there was some helpful criticism. My advice to Big House Pizza would be to keep the same spirit you had when you first opened, it got you into excellent shape for newcomers [some places I've been to that just opened looked a little shoddy or had terrible food, your place looks like it's been open way longer than just a few weeks], since it got you this far. Good luck and best of wishes.
Chipotle Mexican Grill is a chain Mexican restaurant that shockingly is American and actually serves Mexican food instead of Tex-Mex. It is in that little downtown strip mall that’s right across from the Eaton Centre, with its own entrance that connects to the street.
Obviously a popular place
The line-up is long, the hype is large, just like any bad place I ever went to, so I was skeptical, like I always am. Since I was the first of my family to sit down, I should talk about the decor of the joint first.
a modern version of Mayan art
The fake Mayan art [can you tell the difference between the Mayans, Incans, and the Aztecs? I'll give you the general difference down below] was a neat touch and better than stereotyped sombrero, and I’ll forgive them for the incomplete ceiling, since it wasn’t that big a deal anyway. One big complaint I have is the loud music, I mean rock concerts are quieter! It seems one of many urban restaurant trends that people like to lose their hearing when eating. The summer festival in my neighbourhood of Little India is okay because the noise is outside and has somewhere to GOOOO [although too often that is directly towards the library], instead of bouncing around like a flashlight in a hall of mirrors blinding people. Needless to say, I wore my winter hat so the puffy parts would plug my ears.
We have got to find that smoked Chipotle tabasco for home
There are different bottles of hot sauce everywhere, including milder jalapeño sauce, tabasco pepper, and smoked chipotle tabasco sauce. All three were delicious, the jalapeño added taste to food instead tons of spice, the pepper sauce was the hottest and gave a real powerful bite, my favourite is the smoked chipotle tabasco, which really did give a smoky quality, and some heat as well. My family had burritos and tacos, I honestly haven’t tried the tacos, but I did eat an entire chipotle burrito.
This is a lot of food for one person
Anyone who knows what that is knows that it is a giant thing with the probably half the mass of a human head, and the size of a full one [anyone who doesn't know the difference between mass and size needs to review their physics a bit], stuffed with wonderful, grilled chicken, savoury sauce as a compliment, and some rice to boot.
Check out all the fillings
I felt a little like Godzilla taking on King Ghidorah [don't worry about the Japanese, that building that got smashed was the center of taxes. Kind Ghidorah is the foam rubber dragon by the way.]
This burrito was so big, it could’ve been used as a way to die by the Deathnote. That’s more Japanese pop culture, but I basically said the next cheesy installment of Final Destination could have someone die by eating the giant, delicious burrito from Chipotle.
The chips tasted homemade
Their tortilla dips were also home runs, the guacamole was clearly cooked instead of made artificially, and it shows incredibly, the salsa was alright but medium spice didn’t have much heat for me.
All in all, Chipotle Burrito, while unnecessarily loud, has great, healthy fast food to offer, certainly better than McDonald’s regardless.
Mom’s grilled chicken tacos
Now about those Mayans and so on. The Mayans were thousands of years before the other two guys, and they built huge city-states, and died out/evolved into the Aztecs and Incans, who lived to see the conquistadors turn their land and the rest of the world into a giant Risk board for the microscopic continent of Europe [if they didn't sort of have Russia and the north-west parts of The Middle East then they'd be really small]. The two cultures were very different, warring with each other not quite for land or death toll, but for live captives so they could offer up human sacrifices to their brat gods, much like the Mayans did years before. The Aztecs were sort of like the Mayans in my point of view, and the Incans are the ones who were rumoured in colonial/conquistador times to have El Dorado, the City of Gold, which is probably one hundred percent false.
I don’t know what’s up for next time, but it might be more proof that Christopher Columbus didn’t discover America [maybe like the fact that people called Native Americans found it in the Ice Age, practically before 'white man' existed?]. Bye for now.
What’s Indian and very popular globally? No, it’s not a Bollywood film, it’s food! Another one of the cleaner, greener, healthier and more exotic members of the Eaton Centre’s food court, Amaya Express is an Indian chain that I have been to before, and enjoyed each time. If it weren’t in The Eaton Centre, I would say that this place belongs in little India, because… in a blantant Jeff Dunham reference, it’s good, it’s good, it’s goooooooood!
This place features classic dishes like Butter Chicken, and more exotic ones like Beef Vindaloo, which the man behind the counter described, somewhat ominously to me since I was going to try it, their spiciest dish.
the menu at Amaya Express
Which is why I paired it with my favourite Indian drink, the cooling spice killing mango lassi, which I think works better than soda-pop with a spicy meal because the carbon hurts the tongue when it’s already weakened with hot food.
Butter Chicken
I’ve aready had the Butter Chicken, so I can say that, first off, the sauce is delicious, and the chicken plentiful and tender. The sauce was done perfectly, I’ve had other butter chicken before, as anyone who’s read another of my posts would know, so I can compare. It pasts the test.
The Beef Vindaloo, duh duh duh! Since I eat lots of spicy foods, I was walking into this maybe a little too cocky than one should be when playing with fire [maybe I'm the Boy who Played with Fire, random book reference], but I can say for other food masochists out there, it actually had a kick.
my random book reference
Anyone who thinks it’ll be a wimpy KFC [colonel Sanders still rolls in his grave] type of junk will be unpleasantly surprised.
Every giant bowl [you'd think this was family size, I'm not joking when I say a person just might be able to stick their head in it] comes with chana, an Indian [like you thought this was Somalian] chickpea dish.
Beef Vindaloo
It went well as a side, offering more variety than just meat in sauce on rice, not that it would be bad that way. For anyone who’s worried about the two sauces mixing, they stayed apart like oil and water, the one person who is the ultimate critic that stirs them around waiting until the two sauces churn into one, notwithstanding. There are two complaints I have overall. One, some of the beef, while all of Amaya’s meat is entirely boneless, had huge pieces of disgusting blobby [I don't care if that's a word or not it fits] fat, but fortunately it was separate enough from the actual meat I could just rip it off.
editor’s note: Sorry the picture is kinda out of focus. Ooops
Secondly, the lassis are in plastic glasses, why? It’s a green food court! Why aren’t they in glass glasses [say that three times fast] instead of plastic ones? Maybe it’s because they’re not fountain beverages, but, unless the plastic is recycled, if it is I’ll just shut up, it’s a pretty poor excuse.
Selection at Amaya Express
There isn’t too much to say about decor, considering it’s basically a counter with huge pots on it, except I’m happy that this chain’s logo uses a real Indian elephant instead on an African Bush elephant. Service was friendly too, although there’s not quite as much to judge since you only see them when ordering the entire meal.
Amaya is recommendable, and while it’s not usually my first choice out of the competition at the food court [which is a big thing for me, I literally busted a burger joint because a better one was across the street], it is good enough for me to go there in spite of the other options right next counter, which is quite a life-or-death thing in any business. It gets 3.8 out of five and a 7.8 out of ten. I don’t usually add ratings to my reviews, maybe I felt a little formal. I still won’t wear a tie though. Ay mighta see you next time [seehow ay mighta sounds
compared to Amaya]!
While most think of burgers and fries as fast food, the name can apply to any type of quickly made food, so vender grub is actually classifiable as fast food. It has a history far, far older than the fifties, thousands years more, back to the Roman years. In Rome, which in some ways is a historical parody of our civilization in my point of view, several people’s diets relied on what they got from street venders [maybe they ate a panzerotti while watching people get eaten by lions in the arena].
Think you’d get the munchies while watching this?
It was the same in the rightfully named dark ages of Europe, where citizens that couldn’t afford a kitchen ate mostly what they bought from salesmen in the streets. This type of vender-buyer lifestyle still reigns today, just ask someone from New York, or someone from India or China where street food is immensely popular.
Street food from around the world
The kind of Fast Food most people, even our friends in Asia [or to those people, their friends in North America] really did start in the fifties, before Ralph Nadar when Americans lived the dream of beautiful [unsafe but no one cared back then] cars, and didn’t know what was in their food, and being a teen meant living in the fast lane, anyone who saw Back to the Future knows what I’m talking about. White Castle [hear about them now? I didn’t think so] is the pioneer being the second Fast Food chain and the first to serve hamburgers and have the staple limited menu we all love and hate. They sold their burgers for five cents a pop, remember inflation was a thing of the future back then.
White Castle in the 50′s
Because of that era that time travelers just love [Back to the Future, Quantum Leap, Star Trek etc…], now over two million American out of the 314 mil of them are fast food workers. I wonder how many are teens.
The thing that makes them so popular, to put it bluntly, is the speed they cook at, and how other choices like chili or baked potatoes are also available. The fact you can, but probably shouldn’t, eat a burger at the wheel of a moving car also has its appeal in today’s kind-of-like-the-fifties-but-with-more-political-and-economy-crap-era.
How many people do this everyday?
Hey, Canada is much the same way, I didn’t say we’re better than those guys down south [I didn’t say we’re worse either, so don’t you even think it]. North American and British cuisines aren’t the only ones being influenced. Italian pizza has been changed from a thin to a thick crust, and giving different ingredients, and Chinese food has changed so much that actual Chinese people, by that I mean culturally more than anything else, couldn’t recognize some of the take-out we have now [it makes me wonder what they have in a greasy five dollar box being passed off as authentic].
Editor’s note: the video below is a little long at aprox 16 minutes. But its funny and very enlightening. Worth watching
Cheap, quick meat patties on a bun has spread like a virus, I don’t use that analogy positively or negatively, to other counties that before wouldn’t have dreamed of eating this stuff, like, for instance, Japan.
While I acknowledge vender food, I think the fast food chains is what most readers really want to, and should, know. It is a very controversial topic, with films and books pointing the finger at fast food companies crying wolf for bad health, bad food, and bad economy. A whole mess of junk, in effect.
A very popular book that was also made into a movie
Well, along with other modern innovations, fast food did emerge at the same time a lot of problems did. Could simple food companies really be to blame for a host of calamities, or is the wolf a fake? It is incredibly popular, the simple good taste fat, salt, and sugar has, as well as the lack of some proper nutrients, does reach a wide audience with many different palates. Secondly, its in our face, bill boards, brought-to-you-bys, television ads, pop culture references, schools, blah, blah, blah, blah etc, they’re here they’re here! Fast food will take over the world, just don’t put on your tinfoil hat, it’s probably McDonald’s’ litter.
They’re everywhere! They’re everywhere!
That’s all well and good, but it’s more the type of food that’s ‘the rub’ as they say. Hamburgers have: high protein, good, high fat, bad if there is too much but is necessary, high salt, again, important but too much is bad. Iron is in there as well, but, like we all know, veggies is where the vitamins come from, and I don’t mean french fries, which are fried to the point of being deficient.
Wasn’t the potato perfect before it was fried?
Coke is obviously bad too, who said bubbling sugar water that nobody knows the ingredients of. On that topic, I was going to put the list down, until I figured out the pepsi bottle we have is diet. I already knew they had water [of course] and caramel colours for colouring, but the rest I didn’t know. “Contains: Carbonated water, Caramel Colour, Phosphoric Acid, Aspartame, [124 mg/355 ml, contains Phenylalanine] Sodium Benzoate,” the list goes on.
list of ingredients in teeny tiny writing
By the way, Sodium Benzoate is not the salt that we know, that’s another Sodium. I’m pretty sure most of those chemicals are sugar substitutes, here’s the regular Pepsi ingredient list [courtesy of Wikipedia] “In the United States, Pepsi is made with carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup [a very bad thing for your health, and is a replacement for sugar], caramel colour, sugar [for Petey’s sake WHY? You have the sweet fructose crap!] Phosphoric acid [acid in your drink, umm healthy!], caffeine, citric acid [don’t worry, that’s the same kind from lemons or oranges; citrus] and natural flavours.” That’s an actual quote from Wikipedia, excluding the brackets, obviously that was me. The caffeine-free varieties of Coke and Pepsi both have the same recipes just without caffeine.
According to Wiki in double blind taste tests, most people could not tell the difference in taste
That didn’t sound too great did it? Well, that’s just coke, and that’s just the very beginning of it all. It’s starting to look worse and worse for the fast food guys, especially with movies like Super Size Me or Food Inc., which takes a look at the disgusting ways livestock is treated. I have two facts more to give. One, the companies won’t change unless there is incentive to, meaning that they do whatever gets them more customers. Two, not all places are this bad. There are several places, chains too, including Subways and other places to an extent, that are far better than abused animals and customers, so if you really want to save the world, don’t hate fast food, just eat better fast food.
Urban Eatery – The Eaton Centre
Look at the Eaton Centre’s food court, there are all kinds of delicious and nutritious things there, and next time you go there, or your home’s equivalent of it, go to the more exotic foreign option instead of greasy, disgusting slop you don’t even like that much anyway. I might sound a little extreme, but what’s causing the problem, the Holy Ghost? You tell me, I know as much as anyone at this point.
Editor’s note: Any excuse to throw in an Eddie Izzard clip. Mention Holy Ghost and voila:
But wait, isn’t this all a little hypocritical coming from a food blogger, someone who goes to all kinds of ridiculously unhealthy places as a hobby? Well, for starters, I only eat like that when eating out, when I’m at home, I eat the best I can, and I exercise, treats are okay for anyone, health freaks would agree. Also, I try knew foods, one of my favourite restaurants in Mediterranean, the other Pakitstani, another Indian Fusion, one Japanese and one Mexican.
Now for my opinion and voting of this cuisine in the months long cuisine contest.
Ganesh – god of wisdom, prosperity and good fortune
As I’ve said before, it is probably the only one that’s controversial, and that is a big obstacle, even Ganesh would have trouble with it [wiki it]. So we’ll do it the standard way:
Taste: while generally hamburgers taste good, you have to know which place to go to, since several places serve rather bland stuff, and mass produced flavours lose something when treated so industrially. Some fast food chains are delicious, but it takes a lot of trial and error to figure out which ones
Health: Oh boy. Burgers, shakes, fries, cokes, ice creams, cakes, chicken nuggets that you don’t want to know what they’re made of, does that sound healthy to you?! As I said before, it takes some good amount of knowledge to find healthy fast food, and when it gets to the bigger, international chains, it gets even harder. This wouldn’t be so bad if so many fast food places, and processed food companies, deceive and, in essence, lie to us about what’s in our food. I’ll be generous and say that the healthier places make it all right and save the score, but they don’t really
Variety: well that’s a stumper. There are some chains that have rather exotic and foreign items, but even then it’s mostly ‘Chinese’ grease that isn’t really Chinese. I’ll say there aren’t many options here when it comes to variety, excluding some few, smaller chains.
Will this cuisine reign supreme? Well… It’s okay to great in some places, but it gets harder and harder to find good quality, and the healthier the slimmer the pickings. I think this cuisine has, not had, potential, but only if some serious changes occur in our culture. All I can say is that it is really too hard for me to place, and I’m being nice. If I felt like being mean [our brutally honest, depending on your view] I’d be getting really nasty and snarky, but I don’t want to drown in controversy, which leads to arguments and hate mail. If this wasn’t one of my more happy cuisine posts, then I’m sorry, it’s the truth
