Alright, to my subscribers [newcomers won't find this paragraph relevant, but I guess nothing is stopping you from reading it anyway], I know it’s been a while, so long in fact, that a singularity happened where I didn’t even have a deadline anymore because no one was waiting for new content. Well, now I’m back, and now you’re going to be waiting for new updates after this post is done, my bad. I could say I was busy with studying, but since I’m homeschooled, that’d be flimsier than Canada’s national identity.
I also suppose I could talk about what happened in the month I’ve been gone, either boring you with petty details that would bore a schoolgirls’ diary, or make some remark about world news, probably comparing Russia’s decision to invade Ukraine as a sad attempt to copy the USA’s international relations behavior, as if that is in anyway connected to a restaurant review. And on that notion…
Aunties and Uncles is the next on the list of famous Toronto restaurants, after the poorly received Burrito Boyz. Oh and by the way Boyz, in the eon I’ve been gone for, I went to another Mexican restaurant, and it had more heat than a collapsed igloo in the middle of winter!
That’s referring to the previous entry in this series, but that should be the only reference to other posts of mine, I don’t want this blog to become the insert current formulaic overly-complicated soap opera here of the internet.
The restaurant is a brunch place, one of those eateries that has been made out of an old house.
The homey approach was thus the best way to do it, as being fancy would’ve been trying too hard in a way that would horribly backfire. Like Canada attempting to please every single country in the world and turning into the world’s biggest 99% uninhabitable oil-rich pushover. I’ve been hating the USA for too long to be good for my health, so I’ve redirected my rage at the only over live-able country I have citizenship in. And since I’m angry about politics as usual and not Aunties and Uncles that can only mean that yes, it is a good place. While we’re still on decor, while 50s/60s retro theme is by far overdone, I haven’t really seen a place where it could be anymore appropriate until now, since it’s fitting to refer to a time period the building has no doubt been through, and the brunch menu is reminiscent of highway diners that lived through the days of MacCarthism–err. I mean the Vietnam War– dammit, I meant the [swallow] american dream [the happy patriotism is too much... ugh]. I almost got through without being cynical, so close.
In all seriousness, Aunties and Uncles is great, not just the aesthetics, but the food too. Everything is in portions big enough to satisfy the hungriest hitch-hiker, and it is delicious. There seems to be a certain way of cooking, probably either the using specific utensils or temperatures, that transcends cuisines and ingredients to deliver a specific homey taste that this place brings.
I had the Aunties and Uncles club, which seemed fitting as it was probably their signature and it would be filling enough for me. While the tomato was quite thick, this wasn’t a bad thing as the chicken and bacon were quite flavourful, and it was counteracted. The bread was perfect, adding to the taste but not overpowering, and it held together the sandwich without crumbing to pieces.
Along with it was a homemade ketchup, which is to Heinz what Bill Gate’s fortune is to NASA’s budget. That may sound like a joke, but NASA gets .5%, or one half penny out of every dollar, of the nation’s tax. There is literally a pennies for NASA campaign to get one full cent of every bill directed to the agency, as sad as it is. Back on track, the ketchup had sweetness to it, but also some spice and pretty much everything that made it more than tomato mush and vinegar. It was perfect for the bits of bread crusts hanging off the sandwich.
My mom had the breakfast taco. It again had the homey taste, and I think credit is due to how the americanized ingredients added to it work so well. I also liked how the shell was doubled up so that it wouldn’t fall apart. This is one of the gluten free options, although it isn’t written as being such on the menu.
As for the home fries, they were delicious, which is perfect for a brunch restaurant. They still retained the flavour of the original potato, as opposed to boiling it all away and desperately spicing it up much in the same way someone would lather on tons of cologne before their first date after having gotten really sweaty. That’s not to say that they were just potatoes mashed on a plate, they were cooked in such a way as to add flavour, and deserved their own paragraph and mean comparative joke.
I really liked Aunties and Uncles, in no small part, due to the fact that I was expecting something overrated and bland like Burrito Boyz, but instead got a pleasant surprise, kind of like your phone ringing to notify you about an actually relevant message from a real human being, and not the usual din of app notifications or the service provider trying to shake out more money [I'm looking at you Rogers]. I recommend going to it from a distance and not just if you’re in the area and have a craving for something that just makes you as desperate as the cologne guy a half hour before his date [I've been trying to offend every demographic I'm a part of for whatever reason: Canadians, Americans, iPhone users, teenagers etc]. And I was referring to him desperate about smelling nice, what where you thinking of?
I’m hoping that more places on the list will be like this, but if they suck at least I’ll get to have another angry rant review.
Aunties and Uncles 74 Lippincott St