Fictional Foods


An undersea burger using land-based toppings

Guess how much this Bronto Burger weighs
Hopefully Dead Gagh
A Chocolate Frog popping out of his box
The Harry Potter Theme Park’s Pumpkin Juice
The Three Broomsticks’ Butter Beer

This topic is about foods, from fictional films and books, that don’t exist.  Here is a list of them that I would like to try.

Harry Potter: Butter Beer  Even though the Butter Beer is based on an actual recipe, I would like to know what the Harry Potter version tastes like. On Google it was revealed that one of the original recipes for butter beer was simply warmed beer with melted butter added.  Another Harry Potter favorite of mine is Pumpkin Juice.  There are several videos I’ve seen of kids sampling on pumpkin pulp and/or rinds while carving Halloween Jack ‘O Laterns. Shortly after, they throw it up.  So why is it that Harry Potter and his friends can drink Pumpkin Juice easily, as if it were water? There might be a spell or magical element added to make it more edible. Or it could be available without pulp, like orange juice. A Harry Potter candy I would like to try is the Chocolate Frog. The magical moving card that comes with it, is one of the main reasons I would like to get a Chocolate Frog. I do have some problems with the fact that the frogs actually move and look alive. The frogs would make cool pets. I wonder if they come with or without nuts. If they do come with nuts, I wonder if they’re placed to look like organs.

These foods are available at the Harry Potter Theme Park that’s in Orlando Florida, but some foods might be more realistic than others. For example, it would be easy to make a recipe for non-moving Butter Beer or non-magical Every Flavour Beans, than a really moving Chocolate Frog. And the card is probably holographic. I would still like to try these foods, however.

Spongebob: Krabby Patties  The toppings are lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, a secret patty formula and sometimes cheese. I wonder what they taste like because the recipe for them is a secret.   It is not a crab cake. The owner of the restaurant (Krusty Krab) is a crab. What kind of a sicko would he be to make his burgers out of crab?!!? Another weird thing is that they call it a “formula” not a “recipe”, making me wonder what goes in it.

Flintstones: Bronto Burger  In a land full of dinosaurs, its no wonder that the food on the Flintstones is gigantic (like a car-tipping rack of ribs). It makes me ponder why Fred isn’t even bigger than he is, like dinosaur sized. Despite it’s enormous size, its light enough to hold like a normal sized burger. More or less.  Just with your arms spread out wider. Dinosaur meat probably tastes different from alligator meat because paleotologists think that dinosaurs were warm blooded. But it would also taste different than say, pork, because the dinosaurs were reptiles.

Star Trek: Klingon Gagh  Despite the fact Klingons find it tougher (as in more warrior-like) )to eat Gagh live, I ain’t having that stuff squirming in my stomach. An easier Star Trek choice, would have been Vulcan  Plomeek Soup. It was mentioned on an episode, but never actually shown. Vulcans don’t care about being warriors, so they don’t feel the need to eat yucko food.  Gagh might taste like squid, because it looks like tentacles. Why is Romulan Ale blue? Maybe they went to Earth and stole the recipe for Gatorade.

Recipe for Butter Beer

Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Total Time: 15 minutes
  • 1 pint real vanilla ice cream (use a brand that includes vanilla seed specks for best flavor or make your own)
  • 1/4 cup real butter, at room temperature
  • 1/2 teaspoon butterscotch extract
  • 1/4 cup brown sugar
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
  • 1 quart apple cider
  • Apple slices for garnish, optional
On medium speed, beat together vanilla ice cream, butter, butterscotch extract, brown sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeguntil well-combined. Pour into a container and re-freeze.When ready to serve, gently heat applecider in a saucepan until steaming hot.Place 1 scoop of ice cream in a thick soda glass or large mug. Top with steaming applecider. Garnish with apple slices, if desired.Yield: 4 to 6 servings

About callumeatstoronto

Hello, my name is Callum. I was born in 1999 and have been working on this food blog for years. Through it, I’ve worked in expanding my palette and trying as many different types of foods and cuisines as possible. I’m casually interested I different scientific topics - like astrophysics and palaeontology - and I’m also something of a pop culture nerd as well. As covered in my other blog, I am involved in a variety of sports in Special Olympics, and I also do Tae Kwon Do outside of the SO. Toronto’s food scene is well known for being multi-layered and quite diverse. It is also restlessly changing. While many of the restaurants reviewed in my blog have since closed, just as many more have opened up. It has made for an interesting journey over the years, one I wish to continue through this blog. I hope you enjoy it!

5 responses »

  1. Callum, you have really put a lot of thought into this! Good work. I used to watch The Flintstones at lunch time everyday when I was a kid, and I would see Sponge Bob Square Pants when my son was watching it. I haven’t seen Harry Potter, but I like most fruits and veggies so pumpkin juice sounds interesting.

  2. Great post Callum – Keep it up! I love the essay and the photos you’ve added. I bet you could get close to a Bronto Burger at Dangerous Dan’s! The recipe for the Butter Beer looks good, but I’m afraid I will be as big as Fred Flintstone if I drank it!

  3. Excellent posts Callum. Absolutely stupendous attention to detail. Sends the mind wondering, what exactly “Bronto ribs, or Bronto-burgers” taste like? Probably somewhere between Rattlesnake and Chicken. Birds are Dinosaur descendents (bone-structure). Harry Potter-the feast… Pumkin needs to be cooked and would go down well sweetented. Interesting that My Krabby seems to have no crab friends? We used to eat “Food Stick” space food while watching Star Trek.

  4. Just read your blog and I think you are doing a great job.
    I finished with reading here – Star Trek, one of my favorites-still – and would it not be handy to just have a button as in the TV-series or movie and push it, say what you want to have and woeshhh a ready to eat meal or a nice cuppa tea in just a moment of time.
    Live long and phrospere…I mean…write ;o)

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