Dear subscribers that I’ve probably really pissed off by now, I’ve come from my meetings with the Cthulhu to explain that there is a reason, or at least an excuse. I had the ability to write text like this, but I couldn’t have done any reviews as there would’ve been no pictures, which are too important to modern blogs to skip. The reason is that Microsoft computers have so many viruses that DARPA has probably already added a few billion dollars to the US debt trying to turn it into a bioweapon. It wasn’t easy to fix because it’s a Windows 7 that we stole from the 2000’s to spite the Windows 8, which my family avoids like it’s a Mormon or something [not anti-Christian, it’s anti-anti-Christian, if that makes sense]. Also, I had been written a review for a place called Aunties and Uncles, but the computer broke before my Shaggoth could post the review, and the Cosmic Deities were too busy being scary to help at the moment. Wow, I know a lot about Lovecraft’s work for someone who has actually never read any of it, guess that’s helpful for pretending to be smart.
In short, I wanted to explain why there haven’t been any updates in a while. I really haven’t been busy, except for wondering if Google is stalking me and if something is watching me right this second through FaceTime camera on the left of me screen. Paranoia seems like an increasingly plausible excuse too. The next review will be up soon.